Our Philosophy

What do you want?

You have contacted us and, hopefully, other therapists because you want something.

You want something to start, or you want something to stop. Maybe you want someone else to start or stop something. The key word is “want.”

“Want” suggests you desire something that you do not have. Every time you want something, you remind yourself that you are lacking.

You’re constantly reminded of everything you don’t have.

Whoever you are, man, woman, gay, trans, young or old, black or brown, there are thousands of things in New York that make you feel less than others.

Whether it’s a billboard of a thin model, the rich guy walking down the street, or the young adult dressed in the latest fashion, you’re also constantly reminding yourself of everything you want but don’t have.

You can feel like less than others just by living here, which causes your inner-monologue to be hypercritical, as though you lack something essential and are not whole or good enough.

Of course, you wouldn’t talk to anyone else like that.

But you just can’t stop your mind from creating these negative thoughts.

It’s time to redefine your thinking.

The problem isn’t your thoughts. The problem is the relationship you have with your thoughts. And, like any relationship, it can define you or not.

But what if you changed the relationship you had with your thinking? What if you looked at the thoughts as you would look at an Ex? They are important, but you are not together. Your mind can create any thought it desires, and you will notice the idea as simply a thought, not your experience.

Practice saying, “I’m having a thought that…” or “I’m having a feeling called…” and realize how different this is than saying, “I’m worthless.” or “I’m depressed.”

There is another way to live.

Our philosophy is that there is nothing wrong with you. Your thoughts are faulty, sure, but everyone’s thoughts are faulty. You get negative feelings, but so does everyone. You are no different.

All you have to do is focus on your life and be present in the moment.

If you are waking up, then wake up. If you are dressing, then dress. If you are showering, then shower. If you are working, then work. If you are having sex, then have sex. And when you notice a thought or a feeling creeping in, go back to doing the above.

Thoughts and feelings aren’t bad things; they are just signposts. It’s like a gas meter on a car. It isn’t good or bad; it just reminds you to do something. But you don’t have to do it.

So, what should you do instead?

Sit down with your therapist, and start the process of figuring out – in detail – the kind of person you want to be in this world when it comes to your:

• Family
• Marriage/partnership/intimate relationships
• Parenting
• Friends and social life
• Career and employment
• Education/personal growth and development
• Recreation/fun/leisure
• Spirituality
• Citizenship/environment/community life
• Health and physical well-being

Then take the steps in therapy to learn how to get out there and be that person.

Armed with the tools you learn with us, you’ll be able to face any obstacles that arise and show up as the person you want to be every day for the rest of your life.

You don’t need anything other than to live this life that was gifted to you.